In the marriage of Apathy and Empathy…

Pain! what else can you expect? And that’s what we will get if we don’t have a mindful view of the purpose and process.

Let me provide clarity on this article, it is not about humans per se, but about our choices and our approaches.

Although Apathy and Empathy are human emotions but you will find their conflict of interests in all spheres of life and non life. it could be

  • 2 puzzle pieces that don’t fit
  • 2 individuals that cannot get along
  • 2 ideologies that are not compatible

When expectations are not met, relationships turn sour and sometimes break. It can be emotionally toiling but why to lose heart and boil blood? Can we have an objective view of our heart breaks?

Yes of course, it has taken me a long time at the cost of my heart breaks to see a pattern that can help prepare for future scenarios. So lets start from the basics, why do Apathy and Empathy come together in the first place? Because,

  1. Opposites attract,
  2. There is a gap that is to be filled between them

(There might be other reasons but for brevity lets retain the focus on these 2 aspects)

And here are the learnings or pointers for study,

Learning 1 – When Apathy and Empathy come together, they should realise the powers of attraction. It is the oppositeness that has got them together. Their fascination is limited to knowing the unknown and discovering.

Tip – Focus to discover the unknowns and check mark the common areas.

Learning 2 – Understand and define the threshold for opposite behaviours. Be unbiased and objective. This comes easy for Apathisers, but can be difficult for Empathisers. So if you are leaning too much then detach yourself for awhile. Check your biases.

Here is a good article to be on the top of the game. https://www.businessinsider.com/cognitive-biases-that-affect-decisions-2015-8

Tip – Define how much is too much

Learning 3 – Set goals for the commitment. Goals can be individual and also combined. What is to be achieved and why? Define the success parameters.

Tip – Test the equation.

Learning 4 – Review hypotheses, Move on, with or without. Do a SWOT (Strength, Weakness, Opportunities, Threats) of the situation even if you have succeeded.

Tip – Keep talking about it. The more you express the more perspectives you get.

This is what the process looks like, inspired from 4D.

Screenshot 2018-11-12 at 6.17.23 PM

Commitments fail, be it human to human or human to non human, but an objective view can help to define ‘ourselves’ in the situation. So before losing your heart and taking a drastic step, pause to reflect and then move ahead.

Also understand that,

Apathisers are not always brutal heart breakers, but they have different views and rationale.

Empathisers on the other hand are over flowing with emotions.

Screen Shot 2018-11-11 at 12.18.16 PM

And we are not perpetually apathetic or empathetic, but it is our choice of role that we want to play in a given situation.

So, if expectations are not met, it is only because the views and intentions are not aligned.

So it is a divorce? happily ever after?

Depends on YOU!

Thanks for reading!

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